008 - public, voice...word-vomit ahoy

[intofireforever]

I'm glad that's over. It was terrifying. I don't know why I thought it was the owls' doing. It felt nothing like that. That thing seriously messed with my head, and I've had more than enough of that for one lifetime...

...After-lifetime? I don't know. Whatever it should be called. I might have a pulse here, but I don't consider myself alive. No deal I could make here would bring me back in my world, and I think I prefer it that way. The White Lodge is peaceful, and there's no pain there. I've been tormented and abused since the time I was four or five years old. Death is better than that, even death at seventeen. So as terrible as this place can be, I'm grateful for it because it let me ascend to the White Lodge. I don't think I could ever completely hate it here, even after things like this.

Wanda? Are you feeling better now? I know I was screwed up at the time, too, but I still feel like I completely failed you. I miss Paddy, you know. He was a better father-figure to me than my real one. I feel so lost as a warden sometimes and I wish he could give me some advice. I think I'd do better by you if he was here to help, even though he made a big mistake with me that one time. He was mostly right on the mark and knew exactly what I needed.

I'm sorry I'm not as helpful to you as I feel I could be, but I really, really care about you. I'm doing my very best.

Comments

[intofireforever]

It's the opposite of the Black Lodge, where I was before I graduated. It's beautiful there. I guess it's like what most people would think of as 'heaven', though that's not quite right. It's hard to explain, because when I'm there I exist at a whole bunch of times and places at once. I died at 17 and turned 18 here but I can't even be sure how old I am anymore, especially because I was both 17 and 42 at the same time in the Black Lodge, since I existed there just before my death and 25 years after it.

My cousin Maddy is there, too. BOB killed her for looking almost exactly like me. I'm glad she isn't alone there anymore. We spend a lot of time together now, which is great because we can read each other's thoughts--almost like our brains are connected. We're both psychic, but her powers are a lot weaker than mine.

[love_slave]

[She has no idea how that all works, but she remembers her stories and picks up on the psychic bit.]

What is your deal for?

[intofireforever]

BOB took over Agent Cooper's body. He's the man who solved my murder, and now he's trapped in the Black Lodge. My deal is to save him.

[love_slave]

That's terrible! [She sounds absolutely horrified. Mind-control isn't something that appeals to her, either.] I think you'll get it, but can you get rid of BOB forever?

[intofireforever]

[Laura sounds surprised at the suggestion, because the fact that she can't is so obvious to her.]

Oh God no! I can save Agent Cooper, but I can't kill BOB. He's more of a force of nature than anything else, and he's existed since the beginning of everything. There's no way to stop him forever. I'm sure he'll take another host.

[love_slave]

You can't even trap him so he can't possess people anymore? [Some forces of nature are kind of horrible, she thinks.]

[intofireforever]

The only being he's ever feared can't do it.

[She'll let that speak for itself.]