~018 - [VIDEO] - post-port (retroactively filtered away from Amanda Young)

[intofireforever]

The "Laura Palmer" from port is a really lucky woman. Married to someone she loves, working in her dream career, mother to a child she adores...she's happy, and she has every right to be. I wish her well, and I'm glad I got a taste of what it means to have a good life. I even liked being older...it's something I'd never get a chance to experience otherwise.

I can only hope inhabiting her body didn't hurt her, the way the goddess inhabiting mine hurt me.

In any case, I'm glad I fled the party when Arthas started attacking those strippers. The other Laura won't wake up to find she spent the night in jail, which is good. I tried so hard to maintain her reputation.

[Private to Paddy]

Do you think we could meet on-deck? I'd like to talk to you. Bring some cigarettes, if you don't mind.

[Private to Parker]

Please tell me there isn't going to be any weirdness between us now.

[Private to Nathan, after talking to Paddy]

Can I stay with you for a while?

Comments

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy has a drag of his own cigarette and just watches her, mainly listening, but also carefully measuring his next words. It's not often Paddy's so cautious with what he says, but he can tell that her telling him this is important.]

I think a lot of people are damn guilty of that one, you know. You build up an image of what you want, and you try to get people to fit it, idolize shit and all of that.

[He took an even breath inwards, then another drag of his cigarette,] Do you think you've ever, actually, been in love? With anyone, or anything, I dunno.

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

I might have been. It's too late to really be sure, I think, because...

[She sighs.]

It just is.

[She's silent for a few moments, then places her cigarette on the railing before her and reaches for the back of her neck, searching under her hair. She unhooks the gold chain, from which hangs half of a heart pendant, and holds the necklace up for Paddy to see.]

I gave James the other half of this, the very first time I told him I loved him.

[Suddenly, she pitches it out into space as hard as she can. It's hurled straight ahead for a second or two before falling down, down into some unsuspecting other world.]

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy was half way through formulating a question about the necklace, but his train of thought is abruptly cut short when she does that. He leans over the railing, watching it fall into... well, someone else's world. That'd hurt, if it hit someone on the head.

He finally looked up at her, and asked, very simply, and a little quietly, not noticing the cigarette burning away in his fingers,]

Does... does that make you feel any better?

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

To get rid of the last thing connecting me to a guy who couldn't wait even one day after they found my corpse to get into my friend's pants? Yeah, it does.

[She picks up her cigarette again and takes a drag that's probably a bit too long and hard.]

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy nodded,] Fucking good. Because anyone who does that, trust me, is a fucking cunt.

[He wasn't ever a man to mince his words.]

You alright?

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

[A nod.] Yeah.

I had a thing for someone else while I was alive, but BOB made me ashamed of it. He made me out to be sick, and I never really admitted how I felt. Not even to myself, not fully.

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy scratched his head, and looked at her curiously,] Oh? Why the fuck would he make you ashamed of it? I mean... why were they different?

[Paddy just didn't really get it.]

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

She was a girl.

[Laura keeps her voice perfectly neutral as she speaks, and the struggle is detectable.]

Ronette Pulaski...the only other person with me when I was killed. BOB raped her and made me watch, just grinning at me the entire time, and he hurt her so badly he put her in a coma.

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[There is a long, long, very heavy silence. Because his first reaction, the words running through his head - which, at least, are mainly lewd jokes and not a desire to punch someone in the face - are the last things he wants to say. He can't sound like BOB. That'd be messed up.

But the silence from him is far, far too long, and he deliberately takes a drag from his cigarette and looks out into space to prolong the silence. Not because he wants it to be more awkward. Just because he doesn't know how to deal with this. He can't, really, really take the whole thing seriously, but she's struggling, and he's got to be the big man here, but it's just... lesbians? That's not serious. Okay, BOB's idea of the whole thing is just as fucked up, but Paddy's desperately afraid that if he even tries to express disapproval or that he thinks it's more than a little wrong, he'll undo everything he's done so far in seconds. That it'll cause more damage than anything else that could have happened. Just because he might sound a little like he was agreeing with BOB.

Eventually, he asks, not wanting to lie to her either, but wanting to be very, very careful.]

Do you really think you might have loved her? [His tone implies quite a bit of incredulity, and he starts to wonder if he's been careful enough.]

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

Now that I've figured out everything with James? I know it's the closest I've ever come to loving someone in that way.

[Laura can sense something off about Paddy, mostly from how long he remained quiet, and truth be told, she's one suspicious comment away from just leaving and going back to her room.]

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy tossed the rest of his cigarette over the side, and lit another one, considering what to do. What to say. Part of him wants to lie. Part of him wants to say the exact opposite of what he's thinking, play the placating, faked understanding card.

But then he knows he can't keep it up for long, and that might end worse than being... cautiously honest. Meaning he wasn't going to insult her - at least, not deliberately or directly. The problem was, he was a little oblivious to what was insulting and what wasn't.]

But it's... do you really think it's the same kinda thing? I mean, is it different to, I dunno, her being a really fucking good mate?

[Paddy sensed this was going to end horrifically from here on out, no matter what he said, and he contemplated leaving, but then... well, that'd surely be worse too.]

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

[Laura takes another drag of her cigarette, stubs it out on the railing, and then just...turns away from Paddy, walking back towards the stairs. There are no words.]

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy paused for a second, and contemplated trying to get her to come back. He wasn't sure that was going to work.

He wasn't sure it was a good idea.

Yeah, he's fucked up.]

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

[She's not showing up to her kitchen shift until further notice, either. ENJOY.]