~018 - [VIDEO] - post-port (retroactively filtered away from Amanda Young)

[intofireforever]

The "Laura Palmer" from port is a really lucky woman. Married to someone she loves, working in her dream career, mother to a child she adores...she's happy, and she has every right to be. I wish her well, and I'm glad I got a taste of what it means to have a good life. I even liked being older...it's something I'd never get a chance to experience otherwise.

I can only hope inhabiting her body didn't hurt her, the way the goddess inhabiting mine hurt me.

In any case, I'm glad I fled the party when Arthas started attacking those strippers. The other Laura won't wake up to find she spent the night in jail, which is good. I tried so hard to maintain her reputation.

[Private to Paddy]

Do you think we could meet on-deck? I'd like to talk to you. Bring some cigarettes, if you don't mind.

[Private to Parker]

Please tell me there isn't going to be any weirdness between us now.

[Private to Nathan, after talking to Paddy]

Can I stay with you for a while?

Comments

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy nodded,] Fucking good. Because anyone who does that, trust me, is a fucking cunt.

[He wasn't ever a man to mince his words.]

You alright?

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

[A nod.] Yeah.

I had a thing for someone else while I was alive, but BOB made me ashamed of it. He made me out to be sick, and I never really admitted how I felt. Not even to myself, not fully.

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy scratched his head, and looked at her curiously,] Oh? Why the fuck would he make you ashamed of it? I mean... why were they different?

[Paddy just didn't really get it.]

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

She was a girl.

[Laura keeps her voice perfectly neutral as she speaks, and the struggle is detectable.]

Ronette Pulaski...the only other person with me when I was killed. BOB raped her and made me watch, just grinning at me the entire time, and he hurt her so badly he put her in a coma.

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[There is a long, long, very heavy silence. Because his first reaction, the words running through his head - which, at least, are mainly lewd jokes and not a desire to punch someone in the face - are the last things he wants to say. He can't sound like BOB. That'd be messed up.

But the silence from him is far, far too long, and he deliberately takes a drag from his cigarette and looks out into space to prolong the silence. Not because he wants it to be more awkward. Just because he doesn't know how to deal with this. He can't, really, really take the whole thing seriously, but she's struggling, and he's got to be the big man here, but it's just... lesbians? That's not serious. Okay, BOB's idea of the whole thing is just as fucked up, but Paddy's desperately afraid that if he even tries to express disapproval or that he thinks it's more than a little wrong, he'll undo everything he's done so far in seconds. That it'll cause more damage than anything else that could have happened. Just because he might sound a little like he was agreeing with BOB.

Eventually, he asks, not wanting to lie to her either, but wanting to be very, very careful.]

Do you really think you might have loved her? [His tone implies quite a bit of incredulity, and he starts to wonder if he's been careful enough.]

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

Now that I've figured out everything with James? I know it's the closest I've ever come to loving someone in that way.

[Laura can sense something off about Paddy, mostly from how long he remained quiet, and truth be told, she's one suspicious comment away from just leaving and going back to her room.]

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy tossed the rest of his cigarette over the side, and lit another one, considering what to do. What to say. Part of him wants to lie. Part of him wants to say the exact opposite of what he's thinking, play the placating, faked understanding card.

But then he knows he can't keep it up for long, and that might end worse than being... cautiously honest. Meaning he wasn't going to insult her - at least, not deliberately or directly. The problem was, he was a little oblivious to what was insulting and what wasn't.]

But it's... do you really think it's the same kinda thing? I mean, is it different to, I dunno, her being a really fucking good mate?

[Paddy sensed this was going to end horrifically from here on out, no matter what he said, and he contemplated leaving, but then... well, that'd surely be worse too.]

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

[Laura takes another drag of her cigarette, stubs it out on the railing, and then just...turns away from Paddy, walking back towards the stairs. There are no words.]

Re: SPAM

[christ-onabike.livejournal.com]

[Paddy paused for a second, and contemplated trying to get her to come back. He wasn't sure that was going to work.

He wasn't sure it was a good idea.

Yeah, he's fucked up.]

Re: SPAM

[intofireforever]

[She's not showing up to her kitchen shift until further notice, either. ENJOY.]