007 - [VOICE] - from the infirmary
Dec. 29th, 2012 05:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intofireforever[Laura's coma is over, but when she speaks, there's residual grogginess in her voice.]
Why am I in the infirmary?
[Aw shit.]
...How long have I been out?
[Aw, SHIT. Now she sounds very worried.]
Wanda? Where are you, are you okay?
Why am I in the infirmary?
[Aw shit.]
...How long have I been out?
[Aw, SHIT. Now she sounds very worried.]
Wanda? Where are you, are you okay?
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-05 02:03 am (UTC)Still...don't let that make you give up on everyone, okay? There are good people out there somewhere, people who will love you and be loyal. You just have to wait until you meet them.
[She stares at her glass for a moment.]
Paddy was my friend before he was assigned to me, but when we were paired, I started being terrible to him. I lashed out at him and tried to hurt him because I was convinced he'd fuck off and leave me alone, too. I wanted to make him hurry up and abandon me before I started to believe him when he said he wasn't going anywhere.
[She swallows deeply, and there's a click in her throat. This is still something that makes her sick to the very depths of her being.]
I tried to do...something horrendous to him, and he still didn't walk away.
[She takes another drink, finding herself suddenly parched.]
The point is...don't trust easily, but be willing to entertain the idea. Not everyone will fail you. I...
I'll be here to see this through with you. No matter how long the Admiral decides to knock me out for, I'll wake back up and be here.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-05 09:59 pm (UTC)[She swallows the lump in her throat.] I don't know if there's anyone out there who will love me and be loyal. I have to hang my hopes on myself, because life doesn't give people what they deserve. And really I feel like another serious disappointment right now is gonna push me away from people altogether. It's part of why I stopped dating.
I know not everyone's gonna disappoint me. But...
[She has to finish her toddy while she gathers her thoughts. She slides it toward the bartender on duty and orders a Grasshopper.]
I know better now than to automatically take someone at their word when they call themselves a hero, a leader or a public servant. I know better now than to subordinate myself to any person or organization. I'll cooperate with people, I'll support people, but...I won't be their subject. I won't let myself get put in the same situation I'm forced into here. I won't be joining the X-Men or the Avengers or SHIELD or anything like that. I won't be cooperating with any governments or otherwise giving some out-of-touch higher-up the chance to fuck me over or trick me into doing something evil.
[She goes quiet as Laura talks about Paddy and what she did.]
I can...see why you would do something bad to push the guy away. The idea has gone through my head, you know? You get screwed enough by the Warden system, and see so many so-called good guys do so many stupid, arrogant, insensitive or even evil things, and...well. In my case, I really didn't want someone else getting a Wish when I'm the one who has worked my ass off and suffered trying to satisfy your crazy asshole boss for so damn long.
But you don't have to worry about me doing that. Freeing this guy Cooper sounds like a worthy cause to me, and I don't want to fuck things up for you either.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-06 01:11 am (UTC)[She swirls the glass around a bit, and then swallows the rest of her drink.]
...after what my life was like, and knowing yours, I want to do for you what Paddy did for me.
[The glass clinks down against the bar again and she signals for another one of the same.]
I don't know what the Admiral gets out of all this, if anything. To be honest, I don't really think of him much until he makes his announcements, or I'm thinking over my deal.
But thank you, for wanting this to work out for me. I wanted Paddy to get his deal, too--it was to save a girl's life--but since I didn't expect to ever graduate, I thought the only way he'd get it was to request a different inmate.
[She drinks from her fresh glass.]
I really hope you have more faith in yourself than I did in me, when I was in your shoes. I know you're going to graduate with flying colors.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-06 06:22 pm (UTC)As for the Admiral, he gets entertainment. Why do you think he goes out of his way to make us suffer, lose our innocence, and backslide? It's fun for him. Redemption and a second chance are both cool ideas, but it doesn't change the fact that he's a monster.
[Wanda swallows, and looks out the window, a tear escaping down her cheek.] I have no faith in my family, in my people, in so-called heroes and protectors. Not in the law, not in government, cops, or God. I've gotta have faith in me. Yeah, I have friends and you here, but once I leave, I'm all I've got. So I have to have faith in myself.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-08 12:50 am (UTC)Good. That's good. Not that you have no one else to put faith in, but that you believe in yourself. It's a great foundation to build upon. Believe me, trying to trust others before you can trust yourself sucks.
[She rubs Wanda's back a little, gently.]
I believe in you, too. For what that's worth.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-08 04:34 pm (UTC)[Her eyes spill over and she wipes at them a bit frantically in her embarrassment.]
Thanks. It is worth something.
...I just get so fucking lonely. But I guess that's what the dog's for.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-09 03:00 am (UTC)I'm here whenever you get lonely. Day or night.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-10 05:39 am (UTC)Thanks. I appreciate that. I don't know. Maybe I can figure out how to write or something once I get out of here....
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-11 01:47 am (UTC)[Laura puts her drink on the counter and takes a pack of cigarettes and a fancy flip lighter from her pocket.]
I think it could be rewarding. If you decide to go down that path, that is.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-11 11:57 pm (UTC)...that gets me thinking.
I was going to do this thing, you know, where I sent the one guy from my world home with letters for Lehnsherr, my brother, Xavier and a few others. But maybe I should wait on that. It seems a little pointless in most cases, and my would-be courier is kind of a dick.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-12 02:56 am (UTC)[She places a cigarette between her lips and lights it, inhaling.]
Who's your middleman, if you don't mind me asking?
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-13 06:49 am (UTC)[Wanda's finally reached the point where she's not begging for smokes anymore, and focuses on her drink, which is basically a mint chip milkshake for grownups.]
Pyro. He's the only one from my world and I figured I could pay him off. But now I'm realizing that he'd probably just broadcast stuff from those letters in one of his bad storytimes.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-14 02:13 am (UTC)He's a dick. I wouldn't trust him with anything more important than passing the salt...and maybe not even that.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-14 02:30 am (UTC)It's why I feel no solidarity with my "people". Between him, the Brotherhood, my abuser, my so-called brother, that hypocrite Xavier and the way ninety percent of the mutants here have treated me, it's clear that they don't give a damn about me either.
[Her lips tremble. This doesn't sit well with her.]
None of them would have rescued me from the asylum, except maybe Jean or Nightcrawler, and...I don't need people like that in my life. Giving them loyalty just because of their genotype would be basically throwing loyalty and effort down a bottomless well.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-14 05:07 am (UTC)[Laura drinks down the last of her second gin and tonic and signals for a third. She's much better at holding her liquor than she looks.]
It'll save you some grief in the long run.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-14 10:31 pm (UTC)You know, either Magneto or Xavier would probably pitch a fit at me for saying this, but mutants aren't my people anymore, if ever they were. People are my people.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-15 04:40 am (UTC)That's the way to do it. It doesn't matter what people's origins are, as long as you can trust them.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-16 07:29 am (UTC)Oh holy crap, your gifts! [She pulls the two packages out of her bag and slides them over.] I totally derped them for a while there.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-18 02:40 am (UTC)[Laura settles the packages in front of herself, but pauses, looking guilty.]
I fell into my coma before I got a chance to write to Santa. I don't have anything for you.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-18 03:19 am (UTC)Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-18 03:23 am (UTC)[Laura tears the paper off the first package.]
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-18 03:46 am (UTC)I got these for a lot of people including myself. You know, so we can see where we're all from and where we've been.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-18 03:52 am (UTC)[Laura picks up the tablet and turns it this way and that, looking slightly perplexed. It's not that she doesn't know how a touch-screen works; this is just so much bigger than the communicators and therefore more intimidating.]
You'll probably need to help me work it the first time, though.
[spam]
Date: 2013-01-19 08:22 pm (UTC)[She pokes at the small package.] This one is especially for you though.
Re: [spam]
Date: 2013-01-20 02:55 am (UTC)...what is this?
[Because it feels like MIKE's ring.]
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