It is hard to accept that you didn't do anything to deserve what was done to you; the hardest part of this whole process, probably. I'm glad you've reached that point, Wanda. So glad. If there's one person every inmate needs to forgive to get out of here, it's themselves--and people like you and me, I think it might be the most difficult for us. We want to blame ourselves, because if we'd been asking for it we'd at least have had some kind of hand in what happened to us, right? We wouldn't have been totally helpless. That's how it was for me.

Still...don't let that make you give up on everyone, okay? There are good people out there somewhere, people who will love you and be loyal. You just have to wait until you meet them.

[She stares at her glass for a moment.]

Paddy was my friend before he was assigned to me, but when we were paired, I started being terrible to him. I lashed out at him and tried to hurt him because I was convinced he'd fuck off and leave me alone, too. I wanted to make him hurry up and abandon me before I started to believe him when he said he wasn't going anywhere.

[She swallows deeply, and there's a click in her throat. This is still something that makes her sick to the very depths of her being.]

I tried to do...something horrendous to him, and he still didn't walk away.

[She takes another drink, finding herself suddenly parched.]

The point is...don't trust easily, but be willing to entertain the idea. Not everyone will fail you. I...

I'll be here to see this through with you. No matter how long the Admiral decides to knock me out for, I'll wake back up and be here.