Nobody believed that I was an inmate back when I was, either. People see what they want to see, and when you step out from their impression of you, you're a pariah.
[Laura sighed and rubbed at her forehead. That had taken a while, and just listening to it, with all of the misery it contained, had been draining.]
I know that the Admiral's motives are cloudy at best. I don't think he's a sadist, but I can't believe he always gives a shit, either. Maybe he has a boss, and we're just part of some quota he has to fill to make payday. Maybe his idea of morality doesn't match up with ours. Who's to say?
I don't know everyone you mentioned, but I agree, many of them did fail you, more than I can even begin to grasp. Some wardens--I don't know how many--aren't here for the right reasons. Some of them probably shouldn't even be wardens, here or anywhere else...if there are more places like this out there, somewhere.
[She takes a drink herself, finding her throat dry. This is a rather nerve-wracking for her, what she wants to do right now.]
You don't have any reason to believe me, and I'd actually be a little surprised if you did. But I'm not one of those people. I'm here for the right reasons. Even if the Admiral doesn't care, I do. I'm going to earn your trust.
[Another drink of water.]
I don't know if you knew Paddy Maguire. He used to run the dinner shift. When we were both inmates, we were friends, and when he graduated, he eventually ended up as my warden. I didn't believe him half the time when he told me he was here for the long haul, that he'd be here for as long as it would take. I actually tried to sabotage our pairing a few times, because if I could drive him away before he abandoned me, maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.
But he didn't leave. I did some fucked-up things to him, and there were times when he failed me, too, but he never gave up. I graduated with his help, and then he went home. He saved two lives with his deal. Three, if you count what he did for me.
I'm going to follow his example. I'm not willing to walk away when someone is counting on me. Like I said, there's no reason you should believe me. Talk is cheap. I'll prove it through my actions.
Re: [spam] 3 of 3
[Laura sighed and rubbed at her forehead. That had taken a while, and just listening to it, with all of the misery it contained, had been draining.]
I know that the Admiral's motives are cloudy at best. I don't think he's a sadist, but I can't believe he always gives a shit, either. Maybe he has a boss, and we're just part of some quota he has to fill to make payday. Maybe his idea of morality doesn't match up with ours. Who's to say?
I don't know everyone you mentioned, but I agree, many of them did fail you, more than I can even begin to grasp. Some wardens--I don't know how many--aren't here for the right reasons. Some of them probably shouldn't even be wardens, here or anywhere else...if there are more places like this out there, somewhere.
[She takes a drink herself, finding her throat dry. This is a rather nerve-wracking for her, what she wants to do right now.]
You don't have any reason to believe me, and I'd actually be a little surprised if you did. But I'm not one of those people. I'm here for the right reasons. Even if the Admiral doesn't care, I do. I'm going to earn your trust.
[Another drink of water.]
I don't know if you knew Paddy Maguire. He used to run the dinner shift. When we were both inmates, we were friends, and when he graduated, he eventually ended up as my warden. I didn't believe him half the time when he told me he was here for the long haul, that he'd be here for as long as it would take. I actually tried to sabotage our pairing a few times, because if I could drive him away before he abandoned me, maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.
But he didn't leave. I did some fucked-up things to him, and there were times when he failed me, too, but he never gave up. I graduated with his help, and then he went home. He saved two lives with his deal. Three, if you count what he did for me.
I'm going to follow his example. I'm not willing to walk away when someone is counting on me. Like I said, there's no reason you should believe me. Talk is cheap. I'll prove it through my actions.