[Wanda swallows a huge lump in her throat, but nods.] There are ways if you choose to.
I...don't...know how close to completely rock solid sane and benevolent I can manage, but I have to manage it. It has to be my first priority. Because I don't want to tear the world apart. I want to be one who helps keep it from being torn. I want you to feel safer around me, not...at risk. I don't want to be a danger to myself and others. I want to be someone you can all count on to make things better, not worse.
When I first came here, they stripped my powers away and I was so vulnerable and scared I didn't know what to do. I hated that so many people were suddenly stronger and more dangerous than I. I was terrified. And bad things happened to me, you know? A lot of bad things.
All I could do was learn to survive without them. I drew a lot of inspiration from the badass normals around. Like Steph and James Bond and Batman. Some of those guys could kick my ass even when I had my powers. And so I found a couple, and asked them to teach me.
I was about thirty pounds underweight, with badly underdeveloped muscles, when I started training. It was not easy. But I stuck with it. It's been...maybe eighteen months. I'm no Sarah Connor, but I do okay.
My powers...I've had them all back about eight months, and for the most part nobody has realized it because I'm not dependent on them anymore. Outside of practice and sculpting, I don't actually use them more than a few times a day. I walk places. I make my pies by hand. I work out without cutting corners. When I get pissed off, I'm more likely to chew someone out or maybe kick them than throw hexes around. Yeah, I may Mary Poppins my chores, but that's only because I have so much to do.
I guess my point is, a lot of the time, I take more after my Mom's side of the family than my Dad's. I don't want to be this high and mighty capeswirling mutant--though capes are cool--except when it's really called for. These last six months, I've been trying to figure out how to use my powers to do stuff like build houses and fix furniture.
You talk about jealousy of my abilities, but...human beings can gain their own abilities in all sorts of ways. The witch who taught me? Human. Most of the wizards here, too. And most of the superheroes. Awesome science guys, cyborgs...put in enough work and you can learn to stand up to almost anything. And...well, it's not like we don't have to put in work ourselves. I sure do. Hours. Daily.
[She shakes her head, fisting away a tear impatiently.] I don't forgive him. I'm done with him forever. But I don't want to waste the energy on hating him. Better to spend it on not being like him.
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sarken
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Date: 2013-02-11 03:48 am (UTC)I...don't...know how close to completely rock solid sane and benevolent I can manage, but I have to manage it. It has to be my first priority. Because I don't want to tear the world apart. I want to be one who helps keep it from being torn. I want you to feel safer around me, not...at risk. I don't want to be a danger to myself and others. I want to be someone you can all count on to make things better, not worse.
When I first came here, they stripped my powers away and I was so vulnerable and scared I didn't know what to do. I hated that so many people were suddenly stronger and more dangerous than I. I was terrified. And bad things happened to me, you know? A lot of bad things.
All I could do was learn to survive without them. I drew a lot of inspiration from the badass normals around. Like Steph and James Bond and Batman. Some of those guys could kick my ass even when I had my powers. And so I found a couple, and asked them to teach me.
I was about thirty pounds underweight, with badly underdeveloped muscles, when I started training. It was not easy. But I stuck with it. It's been...maybe eighteen months. I'm no Sarah Connor, but I do okay.
My powers...I've had them all back about eight months, and for the most part nobody has realized it because I'm not dependent on them anymore. Outside of practice and sculpting, I don't actually use them more than a few times a day. I walk places. I make my pies by hand. I work out without cutting corners. When I get pissed off, I'm more likely to chew someone out or maybe kick them than throw hexes around. Yeah, I may Mary Poppins my chores, but that's only because I have so much to do.
I guess my point is, a lot of the time, I take more after my Mom's side of the family than my Dad's. I don't want to be this high and mighty capeswirling mutant--though capes are cool--except when it's really called for. These last six months, I've been trying to figure out how to use my powers to do stuff like build houses and fix furniture.
You talk about jealousy of my abilities, but...human beings can gain their own abilities in all sorts of ways. The witch who taught me? Human. Most of the wizards here, too. And most of the superheroes. Awesome science guys, cyborgs...put in enough work and you can learn to stand up to almost anything. And...well, it's not like we don't have to put in work ourselves. I sure do. Hours. Daily.
[She shakes her head, fisting away a tear impatiently.] I don't forgive him. I'm done with him forever. But I don't want to waste the energy on hating him. Better to spend it on not being like him.