scarlet_discord: (lurk)
Wanda Maximoff ([personal profile] scarlet_discord) wrote in [personal profile] intofireforever 2013-02-08 05:47 am (UTC)

private

Look, I believe that you're sorry, because you're not a fucking sociopath, and if there's a way to fix it I would help you find it. Because my Anya didn't even get the chance to live. You're not her, but you're connected to her. And the thing is, now I don't know if she'd have had any kind of a good life if she'd survived. It's forced me to think. About a lot of things.

You say I was the best of us, but there's a me out there who lost her mind one day and committed a horrible crime. And I bullied Pietro. Didn't kill him, but I start to understand why he stopped giving a damn, you know? I did it for information. To get to our father. And because I hated him for being more loyal to him than to me. The only thing that kept me from murdering my father was Pietro's rescuing him at the last moment.

Neither of us are really right in the head, I guess. But that can be fixed, and we both have to fix it somehow. Especially me. I can't become someone who flips out and uses my depowering ability against nearly every mutant on Earth. I don't want to kill my friends or any of that. And neither one of us wants to live mired in the past.

There's this thing, you know, this sort of...demon, almost, or family curse, that tries to infest everyone in the family, all across the multiverse. I spent my life blaming Erik Lehnsherr for it, but the truth is, that thing that lives in us didn't start with him. It started with what was done to our family.

It poisons us. Against each other and against the world. The hatred and bitterness and need for revenge. Erik Lehnsherr is just another carrier. Like me, like you.

I hate it. I don't forgive my father, but taking revenge on him just lets that...thing...dig in deeper. I'd rather reject it, and deal with my own pain. Because otherwise I might...do what that other me did. Or worse.

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